[Erin Pavlina]

A friend taught me that compromise often means you both lose. Take a simple example. In the old days, Steve and I used to go to the video store to rent a movie. I would find a chick flick I wanted to see but he didn't. He would find a comedy I didn't want to see. So we kept looking until we found something we could both agree on. Then it occured to me that neither one of us was watching the movie we wanted to watch, so how was that a good solution.

So after that I got the movie I wanted and he got the movie he wanted. We watched them separately or together depending on whether we could each stand watching the other movie. There were still plenty of movies we wanted to watch together, but now we were also watching the movies we really wanted to see.

Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you have to find that spot where you both meet. It's okay to do things you like without her, and she without you. As long as there are still a lot of things you like to do together.

Steve likes to hike and I don't. For years he tried to get me interested in hiking but it never turned out well for me and my presence was ruining his enjoyment. So now he hikes alone and he loves the solitude and peace.

I'd say, don't try to change someone. But watch out for compromise because it can make two people unhappy.