It sounds to me that depression is the overall source of this. Having suffered it myself, it just plain defeated me during that time period and made me feel the same way you do. Then again, your mind seems to justify its presence as an excuse to not go for the gusto. Depression is definitely a crippling factor overall so I feel you should continue to treat it-if your mind can't fall back on your depression as an excuse to get going, then it'll at least be easier to pinpoint any problems from there.
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