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Old 09-10-2008, 01:04 PM   #11 (permalink)
mattpd
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A really good technique is called 'threading'.

If you practice this technique, you will never be short for conversation ever again, conversations will never die out.

A thread is 2 or 3 sentences, joined together.

For example, "I took a first date to a roof top bar in New York City last year. She totally freaked out".

The concept of threading is where one person says one thread, and the next person says another.

This seems simple right? Well, what many people who struggle socially do is feel an inclination to go into question mode. So when someone says a thread they begin to ask questions, like "what happened next?", or "did you see her again?' - and guys I often generally teach dating to can just keep asking question after question, and this causes the conversation to fizzle, lose momentum, and get boring. So asking too many questions is mistake no1. if you tape recordered most people with their good friends or family, they tend to thread, its just that when people get with new people they tend to go into question mode, or "detective mode" I call it.

Other common mistakes include trying too hard to be interesting or creative, or funny, which causes your mind to go blank. Guys do this with girls, and shy people tend to do it alot. They want to be cool, or interesting, and impressive, and they tend to say something dumb, or their mind goes blank and they sit there in silence.

Okay, the best way, is to do threading.

Threading is simply picking one topic out of the previous thread, and then using it in your own thread.

Out of that example I gave you above, there were many topics "first date", "roof top bar", "new york", freaked out", "last year".

Your own thread could be:

"I don't usually take girls on first dates like that, I prefer something more laid back and casual".

or

"I went to New York for the first time this year, it was amazing. The people, and the atmosphere, it was totally unique".

Notice it was short, punchy, relevant, and simple. And I just used what the first person said, and added my own stuff. No need to be all creative here, just focusing on what the other person was talking about, and using of their topics.

Master this, and you will have flowign conversations forever!
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