[Lauxa]

5 weeks into this experiment and going strong. I'm not sure what to say, but I know I want to keep this thread updated on my progress.

I have made some progress on overcoming my annoying habits, but it is not complete yet. What I would like is to no longer be held hostage to every little itch and discomfort such that my hands automatically rise to scratch or correct it. The affirmation "I do not ignore irritations" has been in the forefront quite alot these days. It seems like I am having quite a bit of resistence to this notion, and my body just erupting with itchiness all over. If I successfully keep my hands still -- which is happening maybe 20% of the time now (up from 0%) -- the irritation usually subsides within a minute or two.

Another one at the forefront this last week has been "I am not an attentive parent". It was when ALG made a comment on the type 5 enneagram that I realized that my mother largely ignored me as a child and I was exhibiting some of this same attitude towards my own children. This was a bit of a crushing realization, but using this technique has allowed me to take it in stride and make some improvements.

Something from this method I have been applying with my kids is to try and tell them they are doing a "not-positive" behavior instead of a negative behavior. So for instance "That isn't being polite/nice/helpful" instead of "That's rude/mean". Or even "You're not very happy/calm/relaxed" when they are throwing a tantrum for instance. I also notice that when they are doing a positive behavior I am quicker to notice and compliment it, maybe because the neural pathways are primed.

Another one that has been big for 2 or 3 weeks has been "My muscles are not long and supple". My mother carries extreme tightness in her neck and shoulders and my father has very tight hamstrings and I have both. These days, when I sit down to watch TV I am usually stretching my neck and shoulders the whole time as well as working in little stretches all throughout the day.

Housework is making slow but steady progress. I cleaned behind the refrigerator and under the stove which I had not done in 8 years.

Last week I cleared out the remains of the spring garden and have started on planting a fall garden (We have two growing seasons in the south). I planted some sunflowers and other flowers and am planning to plant some pumpkins. I find gardening very therapeutic, as well as gaining a sense of peace and accomplishment upon looking at a nice yard. This came about from repeating "I am not motivated" when I was tired of doing housework, and then noticing that my motivation was leading me in another direction.

I feel like my diet has improved a little bit by eating more salads and I finally added green smoothies back in. Smoking has been cut way back and I haven't smoked at all in 2 days. My goal is to be only a social smoker, able to enjoy the connection with others but not captive to the lure of the drug, and the affirmation "I prefer to stay sober" (which is an example of one that has actually switched around from "I prefer not to stay sober") has been an amazing tool.

There are a couple of new ones starting to work their way in. "I do not have amazing, positive, supportive friends." "Other people are not noticing my progress."

The BEST thing about this process is uncovering my desires. I have noticed so many things that I didn't even KNOW I wanted because they were drowned out by all the things I was focusing on that I didn't want.