So have you read the conversations with God books? In one of the books (can't remember which one) it says something like "so be ready kind soul - for you will be ridiculed, persecuted, spat upon, isolated... and finally crucified - all for chosing your most holy cause - the realization of self"
Okay, that may not be an exact
transcription but it goes something along those lines.
I read that years ago.
Then I got into Castaneda's teachings: he taught me about "flyers" riding on the wind - polluting peoples minds. I started to wonder if maybe the battle was against MORE than just my own mind - maybe the mind of others as well.
Add on top of that a somewhat difficult time throughout school years (both school and home). Sure some people may have had it worse than me - but things were pretty rough at times.
- Like really really nasty people at school and then coming home to verbal/emotional abuse. - wasn't fun. + being a highly intelligent and innovative individual I've been somewhat AMAZED at how (my Dad in particular) could get offended by some of my (quite reasonable) lifestyle choices. But I'll spare you the details.
So, understandably it was perhaps easier for me than others to ACCEPT THE IDEAS PRESENTED IN THESE BOOKS AS TRUTH. I see now how over the last few years in my life in particular I have actually made my life a certain way because of what I believed to be true.
That is why it can be so dangerous to read a book (any book) and assign it divine properties. I REALLY took the CWG (Neale Donald Walsh) books way too seriously. I actually believed he was having a conversation with God. Same with the Castaneda books.
What do I believe now? I believe that there is much wisdom in the CWG series - however I disagree with some of the statements and I don't regard it as infallable truth as such anymore.
- As for Castaneda, I sincerely believe he made it all (if not most of it up) and after really giving the teaching a fair chance I have concluded that
1. that there was never any Jon Juan.
2. There is no such thing as the assemblage point and
3. The "flyers" are just an eggageration of certain astral phenomena. I could say alot more on this topic but I'll save it for another day.
So why did I post "The Warriors Predicament" ? That was a culmination of all my frustrations with life lately and a product of all the (perhaps not so resourceful) thoughts I have had over the years.
I'm sorry if some of you may feel a little hurt that I have seemingly all of a sudden "backed out" - but after putting all this nonsense in writing over the internet it has suddenly become clear how fallacious it all is.
I had a dream the other night - I asked God (my God) for help in the dreamstate before going to sleep. Just whatever would be for my greatest spiritual benefit...
He took me to Hell.
I wondered about it and He assured me: "oh its been here all along"
... a steep mine shaft - yellow sand-like walls - very very deep - really felt like going down a long way - kinda scary -
- surprisingly well lit...
I got to the bottom and I was prepared for the worst. - I expected to see the most ugly creatures imaginable - monsters with horns - you know the sort you get in computer games and the like - and I was all prepared for battle...
But to my surprise all I saw were a bunch of fat but very normal looking people - people that have probably eaten too much [junk food] - [I was going to name a particular resaurant
but you get the gist].
And there I was fighting them - but they barely even noticed
I was there!!! They were not hostile at all
. But I kept fighting them and slashing them apart and then after a while it occured to me - why am I doing this - why am I fighting them?