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mattpd · 09-07-2008, 03:41 PM

This is a section from the best book ever on attraction, The Attraction Code by Vin DiCarlo:

Here's the thing most people don't understand - Increased attention, reaction, and emotion is always a reward, and tends to reinforce the behavior you are reacting to.

So if a girl starts spending time with another guy, and you freak out on her and tell her how bad she is.. guess what.. She will soon be spending more time with him every soon.

We already know each and every emotion she experiences triggers the release of addictive chemicals - whether they are good or bad, it doesn't matter. Emotions are addictive.

If you cause a strong emotion in her directly after a specific behavior of hers, that behaviour gets reinforced.

The only effective strategy for punishing behavior is to ignore it.

---------------------

So by reacting to her, even if you think you are telling her off, you are actually rewarding the exact behavior you don't like, and making it even more likely she will do it again.

The worst thing about this kind of behavior from her, is that I've seen women so similar when with their boyfriends or husbands, and not do it with me. Okay, cast your moral judgements aside for a moment, as when I was a bad boy, relationship status was something I'd ignore. I ran by the rule that how people felt about each other was all that mattered, not the title of a relationship. So if a taken woman wanted me, I'd do it.

But... I'd also experience that women who would behave in a certain manner with their partner, would not do it with me. The relationship or their partner or whatever had trained her to be a certain way, and she actually had the power to change that behavior with me. For example, a woman would be a total prude in the bedroom and say 'no' to lots of stuff with the line-in partner, but with me the rulebook would go out the window.

Or a woman would be a complete pain in the ass to her boyfriend, but with me she would be perfectly well behaved. Now, this was not always the case, if the behavior was totally engrained it would come out, eventually, but it just made me realize that people can change so much when getting out of a relationship. It would always surprise me what boyfriends and husbands would often put up with.

09-07-2008, 03:41 PM	#12 (permalink)
mattpd Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 143	This is a section from the best book ever on attraction, The Attraction Code by Vin DiCarlo: Here's the thing most people don't understand - Increased attention, reaction, and emotion is always a reward, and tends to reinforce the behavior you are reacting to. So if a girl starts spending time with another guy, and you freak out on her and tell her how bad she is.. guess what.. She will soon be spending more time with him every soon. We already know each and every emotion she experiences triggers the release of addictive chemicals - whether they are good or bad, it doesn't matter. Emotions are addictive. If you cause a strong emotion in her directly after a specific behavior of hers, that behaviour gets reinforced. The only effective strategy for punishing behavior is to ignore it. --------------------- So by reacting to her, even if you think you are telling her off, you are actually rewarding the exact behavior you don't like, and making it even more likely she will do it again. The worst thing about this kind of behavior from her, is that I've seen women so similar when with their boyfriends or husbands, and not do it with me. Okay, cast your moral judgements aside for a moment, as when I was a bad boy, relationship status was something I'd ignore. I ran by the rule that how people felt about each other was all that mattered, not the title of a relationship. So if a taken woman wanted me, I'd do it. But... I'd also experience that women who would behave in a certain manner with their partner, would not do it with me. The relationship or their partner or whatever had trained her to be a certain way, and she actually had the power to change that behavior with me. For example, a woman would be a total prude in the bedroom and say 'no' to lots of stuff with the line-in partner, but with me the rulebook would go out the window. Or a woman would be a complete pain in the ass to her boyfriend, but with me she would be perfectly well behaved. Now, this was not always the case, if the behavior was totally engrained it would come out, eventually, but it just made me realize that people can change so much when getting out of a relationship. It would always surprise me what boyfriends and husbands would often put up with.