Quote:
Originally Posted by SirBishop  I don't understand. Why would I try to avoid the appeal of underage girls? Its like I would be fighting the truth. Telling myself something isn't appealing when I know it is? |
It's not about fighting the truth, or denying your feelings. It's about choosing to change them if they cause problems.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SirBishop Wouldn't a better approach be "It is possible for underage girls to be sexually appealing, and I'm going to accept this fact rather than fight it." |
That's it. But that's just the first step. Beyond that there is the potential to reduce their appeal so that you no longer feel any guilt. The first step accepts the truth of the situation (but while necessary, still allows the guilt to continue), the second step tries to improve it (and thus may reduce the guilt). If you like the taste of Pepsi but you know Pepsi is bad for you then developing a preference for other more healthy drinks would allow you to stop feeling guilty every time you walk down the drinks aisle.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SirBishop **I have never had the urge or nor would I EVER act upon something like this. I would not feel the way I do if I wanted to act on it. Many sexual offenders do not feel bad for their intentions or actions, this is why the majority are repeat offenders. |
Unfortunately some do find ways to avoid feeling bad which also allow them to continue to offend. I'm glad you're nothing like them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dannyboy1 You can pick apart every word, distort it, convoluted it, distract from it... essentially argue... or you can try to understand by asking what people mean instead of accusing. You can have in the forefront of your mind "I'm going to prove I'm right." or "I want to learn from this communication." Examine your phrasing as an outside observer. While doing so, don't be thinking, "Where can I prove him wrong." Instead, try thinking, "How can I understand what he's seeing." |
And you can examine your own thoughts, feelings and words, and perhaps one day see where they don't match. I guess today isn't that day. As a proponent of ego-free existence it might do you well to try to respond to the content of my words, rather than the tone. Your suggestion is a worthy one for building strong connections between people. But it's not effective for understanding common, as opposed to individual, human experience.