[Elrond]

Originally Posted by andrew

Women care most about how you can make them feel, both mentally and sexually. If you can cause a women to feel incredible attraction, happiness, and incredible pleasure, she would care a lot less what you look like.

Originally Posted by mattpd

In my experience everybody can experience emotions, and to be good at dating you certainly need to be good at having women "feel" things, and that is for them to experience certain emotions in your company.

Originally Posted by mattpd

Women respond to how a guy can make them feel. Let me tell you, I'm never anything like a woman's "type", in fact they always seem to tell me that. I'm short, not good looking, not rich, and any of that stuff. But I have an ability to make women experience emotions, and this makes them want me.

With all the discussion on dating and female/male attraction, comments like these have come up. They say that women mostly/only care about how a guy makes her feel. I won't argue against this, since it makes total sense to me and it's a belief that is part of my worldview.

However, there seems to be another, less intuitive implication built into this...

When statements like these are made on part of the female populace, in this context, it would seem that it is to differentiate it from the wants and desires of the male populace. This would then imply that how a gal makes a guy feel is not what's most important to him. If this wasn't the intent of such statements, than it would be a bit redundant to state it at all. (Like - all women want to feel healthy - yeah, who doesn't?). This doesn't make sense to me, since I don't see any one "thing" that could be more important to all humans than happiness - in this context, being an umbrella-term for all desireable feelings and emotions. What could possibly be a more "base" thing that can be the motivator for romantic/sexual pursuits or anything other for that matter, when it comes to men?

A guy likes an attractive face/appearance - it makes him feel good (sexual, appreciation of beauty). They like that they are interesting - it makes him feel good (suspense, interesting conversations). He likes that he is able to show off his attractive girlfriend - it makes him feel good (pride). He likes that she is feminime - it makes him feel good (it makes him feel more masculine - me Tarzan, you Jane!). He likes that he is able to protect her - it makes him feel good (strong, useful)

Even if I had chosen not to write the more specific reasons why a guy might feel good (pride, sexuality), it wouldn't have mattered to the guy if he was feeling good because he was feeling good - and that's his whole motivation, anyway! Maybe I'm jumping to conclusion, but I can't see any other motivation or reason.

Please understand that I'm not directing this at those that I have quoted, I am just using them as an example of the fact that many seem to think that women care more about "feeling" than men. Of course, the way people mean this doesn't have to be on such a base level as peoples ultimate goal and motivator - that people ultimately want happiness. Many people believe that. But here are some other things that can be meant by this:

One explantion: Guys largely care about sex, especially in the initial stages of a relationship. Maybe sex is not thought to be about "feeling good" in this context, but it is pretty weird if it isn't.

Another thing that can be meant is that women want to experience a wider range of emotions. Maybe guys are generally more straightforward when it comes to emotions and doesn't want a woman to lead them through some specific emotions and feelings. Maybe guys just want to experience a few of the obvious ones, like feelings related to sex, general happiness, and so forth.


Maybe there is something other meant by this, I dunno. I generally interpret the whole notion that women are "emotional creatures" to mean that they are more extreme in their emotions: that they can be really sad or really happy, whereas a guy is more likely to be more stable on an ongoing basis. This is all generally speaking, of course, don't cruficy me because you feel that your individuality is at risk! (it happens a lot on this subject, that is a fact.)



If I had the choice between two women, I would pick the one that made me feel the best, that I was mostly in love with, and all that. That is without thought to her appearances, because when it comes down to it, it is how a GF makes me feel that matters. If a gal cares more about her BF's charisma, and he cares more about her looks, well... they both only care about one thing, and that is how they make each other feeeeel.