I'm skipping the very interesting conversation here to share you yet another funny way of thinking about money.
I haven't been afraid of being rich, ever. I don't think that rich people are bad or greedy or what ever, but I had great difficulty getting ANY money or holding on to a job even though I am a pretty clever person. I have been struggling with bills more and more so, and only lately I have realised why this has happened.
My mother is all about security and especially job security. She has always made sure to let me know that nothing matters more than bills paid on time. People have to have jobs to be worthy, you have to prove yourself as a valuable being by working for your living. To become a good worker, you had to be a good student. As it turned out, I never was good enough for her, at least she never expressed in a way that I could understand that she was happy with the way I was doing at school. So as nothing pleased her, I simply quit trying. Then I started rebelling against the whole idea of working to earn my livelihood - my very right to exist.
The burden of resisting a respectable way of life lifted off me when I moved to the opposite side of the world with my husband. As things around me changed, it was easier to let go of all those negative thoughts, and now I am happily working for myself as a wedding dress designer - not making any money yet, as it is very early days, but I am embracing the idea of making a GOOD living out of it, once I get going. It feels surprisingly good not to resist things.
