 Acknowledge your feelings
Hi ProjectX, my situation was a bit different, but I can relate to what you are going through. I did well in community college, and even when I transferred to the four year university, I was still doing OK at first. Then, all of a sudden, I couldn't make myself complete the assignments. I hated the reading I had to do for my political science and economics classes. Despite being unhappy, I pushed myself, thinking that I can just will myself to do what I need to do to complete my course of study. I justified it in my head, that I'm way too far into the major to turn back, and that I don't have to like it, it's just a degree, that will help me get a job. Most importantly, my parents were invested in my education, how could I let them down? I learned since than,that it's not a bright idea to ignore your true feelings. They come out one way or another. I'm glad that I didn't fall into a major depression and start taking drugs or something. I did, however, do lots of damage to my GPA, as I kept taking classes, even after failing a couple. Now, what I wish I would have done, and what I would advise you to do, is to stop and ask yourself what needs adjusting for you to be happy. Take some time, like a week, to do nothing, but think what direction you want your life to go. You might not figure out exactly the course you want to take, but at least you can figure out what's making you miserable. Communicate your concerns to instructors, relatives, and college counselors. I felt so alienated, thinking that nobody could help me. I was too scared to tell my parents I wasn't doing well, too embarrassed to talk with instructors about my failing grades, and too proud to admit I needed some emotional counseling. Talk to people, and if the first person can't help you, talk to second, and third, and so on, until you get the help you need.
Enjoy your life,
Lena
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