An update on my progress...
I had forgotten about the forum for quite a while.
I want to say that a few things have changed in my life. Some for the better and one for the worse.
Firstly, my health is much better. I have joined the gym and work out 5-6 days a week. I have lost all the extra flab I was so unhappy about. I feel better physically, emotionally, that is another story.
Secondly I am eating much better, I keep fruit in the house and never over eat anymore. In addition I drink very little. Maybe 3-4 times a month at most.
Some things which are still bogging me down:
Internet usage is still exceedingly high. I have found a new way to keep me on-line which gives a great deal of short-term gratification: on-line dating! It's become a real succubus.
I originally got into it as a means to distract me from the angst of my failed relationship but it has turned into a minor addiction of its own. In fact, going from being in a mongamous fairly sexless relationship to mr. serial "stud" has had a very strange effect on my self-esteem. Yes, now I am more confident in my appearance because many have told me I look good. However I feel that I have found another way to distract myself from really improving. On-line there is always another girl to meet and there is the chance that maybe, just maybe she is the one who will take away all the sadness and fear in my heart.
So I need to refocus. I need to stand up to my really deep fear as now I am a little stronger physically, I should be able to face my emotional pains more acutely.
But I am wondering what is the best way for me to analyze my situation without causing anymore chaos and really MOVE in a positive direction...