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Originally Posted by Spartan  You don't understand where I'm coming from. I am not saying women or anyone else for that matter should accept me as I am. They can do and think what they want, even ridicule me if they so desire. I'm just saying that I don't think I could develop a liking for someone who doesn't like or accept me.
I probably do have a bad attitude towards dating, but that is because I dislike the concept of trying to impress someone. I am not averse to having fun, I just don't like a regimented formulaic approach to life.
I have social anxiety, which was worse in the past, but it's still there sometimes. I have been laughed at because of this. It is funny to see someone who looks like they should be confident make a complete fool of themselves in a social situation - I don't mind I can take the embarrassment.
Hence, I am merely accepting my shortcomings, I'm not saying they can't be improved, I'm just saying I would like other people to accept me, whether I have shortcomings or not. |
You are right that its bad to try to impress people, that never works with women. I mean I agree with you and I couldn't like someone who didn't accept me or like me either.
That single attitude you have though really jumped out at me, and I just wanted to explain what it means.
Social anxiety is common, I previously suffered from it. Certainly, I know that people on this board keep freaking out when I give dating advice that causes a generalization, but I must say that the no1 most attractive quality in a man is being relaxed, calm and comfortable in social situations.
In my dating workshops teaching techniques to remain calm and relaxed under extreme social pressure is the first thing I teach. Seriously, its like the first main skill, its that important. And in my experience it can be overcome.
Its good to accept your shortcomings, thats a good sign of self-esteem, and there is nothing wrong with seeking to improve too.
Being teased and having a social anxiety issue can be harmful to your self-esteem and this can often lead to the 'wanting people to like me for me' approach rather than the much more successful 'if I become better and improve I'm going to have more success' approach.
There are many ways to overcome social anxiety, and I must say that if having an amazing love life is important to you, I'd be workign on removing it.