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Originally Posted by Spartan  Ok thanks Matt. I don't care about being 'good' with women though. The way I see it, if she couldn't accept me for who I am then I wouldn't want her anyway.
I just dislike the fact that you generalize all girls into one category. What you talk about has more to do with being a good socializer. And obviously good social skills are an advantage when meeting people, women included. But you make too many inferences based upon this. |
Thats a bad attitude Spartan. Training 100s of men in dating I see this attitude pop up from time to time, but mostly in people who are really bad at dating.
People generally who say "I just want someone to like me for who I am" tend to be too driven by validation rather than getting an awesome result from their dating life, in my experience. Just like with money when people display a certain attitude you can quickly identify the root cause for it, this 'like me for who I am' idea is like one of the worst ones.
The concept of "she should accept me for me and thats it" tends to discourage a self-improvement approach to dating, which is probably my primary concept. I have this mindset where as I become a better person I will achieve better results in my dating life.
Hmmm, how to explain this...
Okay, you have someone who is not getting much result from their dating life, lets call her Cindy (or for a male version Tom). Now, Cindy has two options, she can take 100% responsibility for her results and take her lack of success as a signal she needs to improve something, or she can simply blame the having met the wrong people, or having bad luck, or even worse her ego can cause her to say "I just want someone who likes me for who I am".
Now, I am not saying that you have to fake being someone else to get good at dating, or someone liking you for you is a bad idea, I am just saying that everytime I hear this attitude in someone it generally means that they don't see the process of dating as being something you can get better at, or their results in dating being something that is reflective on improving your self.
Anyway, I kind of feel like you won't get what I am talking about anyway...