About people not willing to talk about "big" topics like goals, PD, etc, my interpretation is this:
People are vulnerable, and take time to open up. It's not easy to tell a stranger your hopes and dreams and fears. So get to know about someone first, like where they live, what their family is like, what they like to eat, where they shop, blahblahblah. Make it a point to talk about yourself too. After a while, you'll feel like you know each other.
That's when you gently bring up the "big" topics. A conversation about her boyfriend could lead into one about whether or not she believes in marriage, does she want to get married, why or why not, does she want to be in this career/industry her whole life, etc etc. Or, you can start talking about food and lead into work-outs, early rising, etc. Talk about hobbies, move into reading, time management for reading, etc.
Hope this helps.
