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Originally Posted by NightSpirit  More important than what I studied, I think, was the premise I was starting with in my search. I was looking for something real. I had tried church before and didn't want a repeat of basing my life on a "hope so" or "this sounds right" type of thing. My core belief was that if there is a creator and He made me with the ability speak and hear and know, then He probably should be able to know, hear and speak Himself.
I also assumed that if the Bible is true and I do what it says then something should actually happen to me. The people that wrote the Bible were inspired to record, after the fact, their account of things God had already done and said to them in their lives. If He spoke to them, Abraham, Issac, Jacob, Moses, Elijah, Jonah, David, Mary and Joseph, The Apostles and Paul and others, in the same ways, over the course of thousands of years then He could speak to me and that's what I wanted. I know some people don't believe it's possible. |
Interesting. I admit I've never thought of that.
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Originally Posted by NightSpirit A Christian man I knew also said God spoke to him so that's why I was looking for God in the Bible. It was like a test, really, to do what the book said and see what God did. More than just to hear God, I guess I was looking for power to influence Him since a lot of people in my family were sick and I wanted God to at least hear me for them.
"Then you will find me when you seek me with your all your heart ."" Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God." "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." "If I regard iniquity in my heart the Lord will not hear me."
were some of the first verses that seemed to pop out at me or the one's people would bring up when I asked them how to know God.
I stopped doing the things I felt were sins. This didn't seem odd or a burden to me at the time because I wanted to see miracles. The first sign that something was different was a new sensation like God really was hearing me, kind of like the feeling you get when you think someone is watching you. I visited any and all kinds of Christian churches to see which teachings lined up with what I was getting from what I read. And about one point of confusion in debate in Christian circles, Acts 2, I asked God to teach me what it meant. |
I've also tried many churches. It was so frustrating, because they seemed to be so different, and there are so many of them, that it seemed impossible to find one that I could agree with. A friend of mine introduced me to a Baptist church earlier this year, over spring break. I did like that one because no one was really too focused on the minutiae, but more on the big picture. They were free to choose for themselves about the little details.
Which church did you end up with?
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Originally Posted by NightSpirit After a few weeks of studying and trying to practice what I read, I had my first experience with God at a church one night where I didn't know anyone. I posted about it at length in a conversation with Bob Who are the Christians? if you're interested and have a LOT of time to read it all. Sorry about the length but I hope it helps answer some of why I believe what I do. |
Thank you for the link. I did read it. It's really, touching, and inspiring. I think sometimes Christianity is discouraging and disappointing because there are so many who don't have that personal experience, but just go along with what they're told. That's really not what I want.
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Originally Posted by NightSpirit I don't claim to know everything or that everything I believe is right. I don't even think all my beliefs have to always be right for me to still have a relationship with Jesus. I just know that as I sought God in the Bible then some of what happened to them also happened to me and I believe what the Bible says, that Jesus is the Son of God.
If someone is sincerely searching for the truth about God then I would think it is up to God to be sure they find that truth. The sincerity of a person's heart is not something anyone else can judge. But we all can be sincerely wrong at times. I don't always understand the thought process of what people believe but I welcome it if someone cares enough to point out a possible blind spot or what they think is a better way to me. It may just be God working through that person. |
Thank you for sharing your beliefs and how you have come about them.
As I mentioned above, I was introduced to a Baptist church a few months ago. I really did enjoy it, but unfortunately couldn't stick with it because it is at home, and I am usually about 90 miles away at college, where there is only a Catholic church (it is a Catholic university). I can't remember how I eventually came away from it agin. If you read my first few posts, I was kind of questioning everything. It annoyed me that there were so many churches; and the Catholic church really annoyed me because of all of its silly rules. I really agree with
post #18 in that thread you linked to, and it portrays my frustration rather aptly.
I kind of got involved in the new-age again, (spirits, psychics, IM, you get the picture), until I realized that there was no better reason to believe that than Christianity. Indeed, perhaps less of a reason, since it is rather a new movement made up of a conglomeration of random beliefs. Sometimes I think it's a competition to find the craziest and most far-fetched beliefs and push them as undeniable truth. How many people attack organized religion as irrational, illogical, stupid, etc, only to pick something like subjective reality, IM, etc, and say that must be true? Such people are just creating their own religion.
I got rather tired of it, and then began my more skeptical stage. I thought people are mostly making up all of this stuff anyway, because people fear the unknown and need to explain it somehow.
The theology class I have to take this semester kind of snapped me out of that a bit. I was totally denying any faith at all as stupid and irrational, when the truth is we all have faith in something. No person out there has absolutely no faith.
That's mostly where I am now. I'm accepting there's probably something out there, but I'm not sure yet what it is. I'm mostly rejecting some of the ideas presented here like subjective reality, one consciousness, etc, because it really makes no sense to me and explains nothing about anything. In fact, it raises more questions than it answers, and doesn't explain how things were created or why we are here.
As much as I have probably attacked your beliefs in the past, I'm seriously taking a look at it now. I just really don't want to accept things just because a bunch of other people believe in it. I think experiences like you have had would be amazing.
Well, I admit that I've had small miracles in my life for a long time. I wrote earlier today about how things just always tend to work out. Even if something happens that seems bad at the time, it turns out to be for the best. I always seem to be living on the edge of ruin, only to be saved by some coincidence. Faith in those small miracles is how I got through the first few weeks of college last year, where I was in a totally strange and new environment. I did believe in God back then, and I felt like He got me through those first few weeks. Even when there seemed to be no money to pay for the next semester, it came around somehow, every time.
Maybe it's the seemingly harsh judgment sometimes portrayed by Christianity that I'm afraid of. Hell seems such a very cruel fate for anyone. Maybe there are things I don't know, though. maybe people are somehow given a chance. I seriously don't know. That's the one objection i have.
But seriously, I appreciate your explanation of your beliefs. It's really touched something within me, and I mean that sincerely.