Hi Marinik,
Congratulations on yur decision to end a boring career and start something new.
...before you got sick....
I think you may try a following exercise:
1. write down 'what you want' (I am assuming you know exactly what kins of work you want) and 'why you want it' then list as many things as possible in response to 'why',
2. turn the page over and write 'why you believe you will get it' and again write as much as you can think of
repeat daily
in the meantime, enjoy your NOW as much as you possibly can and think about the aspects of it that you LOVE and are absolutely proud of and grateful for and over the moon with and can't possible live without. (exaggerate is necessary!)
Pack as many joyful thoughts into your days as you can to let the new job in. It's already there waiting for you
Cheers