[SmartAlx]

Thank you all for the advice. You have given me, if nothing more, a good entertaining read. I might look into toastmasters. I've heard of them before. Thank you Keith. I wonder how awkward I would feel there when I first start going. Probably 1000 times more awkward than when I first started salsa.

EDIT: HEY! There's a "Dance and Toast Masters Club" nearby!!! Might be perfect. They do meet at a steakhouse though. I'm a vegetarian. LOL. The "next" meeting (which was a few days ago) featured a Salsa teacher giving dance lessons. I never heard of her before. I don't think she's a well known salsa instructor in my town.

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Basically you're an Enneagram Type 5. Don't waste your time trying to become the life of the party. You'll never make it.

I did say that this ideal was unrealistic for me.

At your very best, what you WILL become, is someone who is extremely wise; very insightful; highly intelligent; quirkily innovative; deeply perceptive; and a great expert at whatever area interests you.

Salsa. Hopefully Architecture - my career.

In other words, you're not cut out to become Oprah Winfrey. She's just another Enneagram Type, that is all, and it's not yours. Whether they are at their best or at their worst, Enneagram Type 5's simply do not become comedians, entertainers or socialites. At their best, they do become:
Albert Einstein
Stephen Hawking
John Lennon
(These are some famous Type 5's).

Some good examples. But they don't live the lives that I would want to live. In fact NONE of your Type 5 examples led lives that I want to live. What Type is Orson Scott Card? His is the life I would like to parallel.

Let me guess - you're a pretty profound kind of person, right?

Are you patronizing me? LOL

You think intensely about Big Questions right? You're very analytical and you see a lot of things which people don't spot, right?

Yes.

Generally you're very quiet ........ until the topic becomes one of your pet areas of expertise, and then you speak very assertively, confidently, you can't stop, and everyone just gets kinda wowed by you, right?

Nope. When these topics of conversation come up, I still clam up because my frame of mind is still in wallflower mode. I can't talk when boisterous people are around. They overshadow me, even when they are speaking my language.

You probably have one favourite thick book - either the Bible, or the Encyclopaedia Brittanica, or the collected essays of Bertrand Russell - which you simply can't help reading and re-reading again and again right?

Nope.

Type 5, Type 5, nyeah nyeah nyeah nyeah nyeah.

I admit that you got a lot right, if not everything. I will carefully explore this Type 5 thing.

Originally Posted by ArthurHung

If you're an introvert and like to read all the time, join a book club. Actually, you could just keep joining groups and clubs of whatever, it doesn't even have to be anything related to things that you enjoy doing.

I am an introvert, but I don't want my hobbies to be individualistic. I want them to be cooperative and involve other people. I used to read all the time. I used to watch TV and movies. I used to play video games. I had a lot of hobbies that were comfortable. For 20 years that's what I did, and guess what resulted? A full bookshelf but no life. No memories. No friends. Then I found salsa, and started to try to peek out of my shell by going out to salsa clubs then hanging out with some salsa assistants.

It would be great if my social life was surrounded by salsa. But even though my best friends (who I like) are salsa dancers, when we go out (which is a few times a week) guess what? We don't talk about salsa. We talk about the same things that everybody else talks about: life. And I really enjoy listening to these conversations. I do like these people. In fact I feel extremely blessed at having them in my life. They are actually nice. Just rude and insensitive sometimes. I wish I could join in on the conversations, but I can't. I don't interrupt people, and I wouldn't know how to do it even if I was willing to compromise on my beliefs.

I love salsa so much. I've tried dozens of hobbies in my lifetime and salsa is the first hobby that really has taken root. And my best friends are salsa dancers. We all assist the salsa classes at our studio, but because the lesser experienced assistants are more charismatic, they are being groomed to becoming full instructors, while road blocks are being built (by the leaders of the studio) in front of me becoming a full salsa instructor. In fact, one of my friends has already made it to instructor. Although he's a tango instructor not a salsa one, but it's only a matter of time. They aren't overtaking me because they are more capable, but because those in charge like them better. I am a philosopher of salsa. No one at our studio knows salsa like I do. Even the full instructors. And I do teach a good salsa class. When I do get to teach a class, not only do the students learn faster with me, they also enjoy the class. I do have some fun things to say in my class. I can keep a class entertained. But because of politics outside of class, I am held back. I can only help people on an individual basis. It seems that I will never make it to instructor because of my personality. And that cuts me deep.

Originally Posted by Angela

You know, that's so... Jesus is your role mode, but he wasn't exactly known for cracking people up, was he?

I really believe that Jesus was probably extremely charismatic, and quite possibly funny. Even if the things attributed to him weren't funny as written down and read from The Bible. In context, if he delivered them properly, he might have been very funny. Remember, none of the books were written by Jesus. The ones about him were written by his followers, who might not have been all that charismatic themselves.