Your difficulty is not so much that you don't like yourself; but that
(a) you have pre-conceived (and false) notions of how you must or ought to improve and develop; and
(b) you find it very difficult to improve and develop according to your notions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SmartAlx  I am socially awkward. I am quiet. I don't know what to say with people. I constantly put my foot in my mouth. I am inhibited. I am introverted. I am shy. I am not boisterous. I don't have a lot of stories to tell. I don't know any jokes. I'm not naturally funny. I don't drink. I don't like going to bars. I don't like sports. I hate my job. I hate being alone. People's instincts when they meet me for the first time aren't always good. I get jealous of people who have it easier than me. And I think it shows. |
Basically you're an Enneagram Type 5. Don't waste your time trying to become the life of the party. You'll never make it.
At your very best, what you WILL become, is someone who is extremely wise; very insightful; highly intelligent; quirkily innovative; deeply perceptive; and a great expert at whatever area interests you .
In other words, you're not cut out to become Oprah Winfrey. She's just another Enneagram Type, that is all, and it's not yours. Whether they are at their best or at their worst, Enneagram Type 5's simply do not become comedians, entertainers or socialites. At their best, they do become:
Albert Einstein
Stephen Hawking
Bill Gates
John Lennon
Gary Larson
James Joyce
Agatha Christie
Jane Goodall
Bobby Fischer
Stephen King
Clive Barker
Friedrich Nietzsche
Vincent Van Gogh
(These are some famous Type 5's).
Let me guess - you're a pretty profound kind of person, right? You think intensely about Big Questions right? You're very analytical and you see a lot of things which people don't spot, right? Generally you're very quiet ........ until the topic becomes one of your pet areas of expertise, and then you speak very assertively, confidently, you can't stop, and everyone just gets kinda wowed by you, right? You probably have one favourite thick book - either the Bible, or the Encyclopaedia Brittanica, or the collected essays of Bertrand Russell - which you simply can't help reading and re-reading again and again right?
Type 5, Type 5, nyeah nyeah nyeah nyeah nyeah.
Love yourself, my friend. You're cool, in your own way. Start believing it. Start there.