Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post

ScotiaCoast · 08-23-2008, 05:59 PM

I made a rather rash decision earlier this week to transfer to a university on the other side of the country (well, internally I've been mulling over this decision for months, but it would seem rash to anyone from the outside). Classes start in just over a week. I did the same thing last year, but came back after only a couple of weeks because the transfer credits didn't work out and I couldn't afford to start from scratch. It's something I've wanted to do for a while, and a school that I feel has a lot to offer me. However, I have a very guilty conscience about this decision. By leaving I fear I will be abandoning and betraying my friends home, that they might feel like I'm ungrateful for our friendship, and that I'm trying to get away from them. Especially since it's a rather last-minute decision. That's really not the case. I love my friends -- I just feel like I am stagnating at the school I've been attending (in my home province) and have better opportunities for growth at the school I want to transfer to. I told some of my closest friends from home about my plans yesterday, and it seems my fears weren't unfounded. One good friend said he "is cut to the deepest point a knife could cut, maybe even deeper" and that it's comparable to a long-standing grudge he has with someone else he used to be friends with. Another friend sent me an e-mail with a message that said "2008 Theme" and had the song Heartbreaker attached. Not-so-subtle messages. I know some people may say these people aren't true friends if they act like that, but they really are my closest friends since I was a child, and I completely understand why they're upset with me even if I would be excited for them in such a circumstance (even though I'd miss them!). I just don't know what to do or say to fix things short of just staying home. I've already purchased a plane ticket and paid a deposit on tuition, but as I'm still home, there's nothing FORCING me to leave. My parents would be VERY upset, but I'm sure that would pass with time. I've always been a very fickle and capricious, and I'm getting tired of constantly disappointing people with it. I'd really appreciate any words you may have for me. Thanks (:

08-23-2008, 05:59 PM	#1 (permalink)
ScotiaCoast Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 31	Leaving Friends I made a rather rash decision earlier this week to transfer to a university on the other side of the country (well, internally I've been mulling over this decision for months, but it would seem rash to anyone from the outside). Classes start in just over a week. I did the same thing last year, but came back after only a couple of weeks because the transfer credits didn't work out and I couldn't afford to start from scratch. It's something I've wanted to do for a while, and a school that I feel has a lot to offer me. However, I have a very guilty conscience about this decision. By leaving I fear I will be abandoning and betraying my friends home, that they might feel like I'm ungrateful for our friendship, and that I'm trying to get away from them. Especially since it's a rather last-minute decision. That's really not the case. I love my friends -- I just feel like I am stagnating at the school I've been attending (in my home province) and have better opportunities for growth at the school I want to transfer to. I told some of my closest friends from home about my plans yesterday, and it seems my fears weren't unfounded. One good friend said he "is cut to the deepest point a knife could cut, maybe even deeper" and that it's comparable to a long-standing grudge he has with someone else he used to be friends with. Another friend sent me an e-mail with a message that said "2008 Theme" and had the song Heartbreaker attached. Not-so-subtle messages. I know some people may say these people aren't true friends if they act like that, but they really are my closest friends since I was a child, and I completely understand why they're upset with me even if I would be excited for them in such a circumstance (even though I'd miss them!). I just don't know what to do or say to fix things short of just staying home. I've already purchased a plane ticket and paid a deposit on tuition, but as I'm still home, there's nothing FORCING me to leave. My parents would be VERY upset, but I'm sure that would pass with time. I've always been a very fickle and capricious, and I'm getting tired of constantly disappointing people with it. I'd really appreciate any words you may have for me. Thanks (: