[Ishtar]

From early teens to until about five years ago, (I am 31 now), the most wonderful part of my life were those extremely vivid dreams I used to have, in which I would be flying without care. I used to have flying dreams without effort, quite regularly, and I dont know if they were lucid dreams even though I could adjust my altitude by willing myself to fly higher and higher.

They irony is that they were the darkest and saddest years of my life, and I used to be blessed night after night with those wonderful dream-flights, in which I used to see vistas that were far too beautiful to actually exist anywhere on earth - great lit-up cities, wonderful flower gardens the size of oceans that spread out beneath me, ancient ruins of a staggerring scale (I am watching it all from very, very high, almost at the height of a plane) and the vividest scenes of all were the thick, lush, intensely green rain-forests.

Sometimes they were so real I had to make an effort not to bump into electric lines as I was soaring. I could will myself to soar and do that as naturally as running.

The memory of those dreams makes me ache so much I can't say. I can not have them anymore. I no longer fly in my dreams. It is interesting to note that during the final, dwindling phase, I always flew with some kind of a prop- as on a carpet, or on a flying chair, and once even by holding on to a pillow that flew- and then they stopped altogether.

Ironically, my life situation has improved drastically since then, and in real life I am a thousand times happier. But i miss those dreams so much I can't say.

I have tried everythgin, like putting out an intention, etc, but they seem to have deserted me for good.

Any advice as to why they disappeared and how to bring them back, will be much, much appreciated.