I also struggle with this issue. I am often drawn to big new solutions, new ideas, new pronouncements for getting better at this. They tend to work for a little while and then fade away.
I am coming to appreciate the value of the small gesture. Don't tackle the entire problem of why you engage in self-sabotaging behavior all at once. That's a pretty big enchilada!
Instead, start with one small decision and make it in a self-affirming way. Don't worry about all the other million decisions that go wrong. Just make one that goes right. Then, tomorrow, add another one. And so on until these little unrelated decisions weave together into a tapestry of disciplined, self-affirming decision making.
Oh, and one other thing I came across recently. There is a Scott Peck about self-discipline being the same as self-love. When you stop to really consider that, it makes it much harder to let your self-discipline slip, because it forces you to see those slips as a lack of self-love.
Good luck!
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