Quote:
Originally Posted by marklang500  Stop!
You need to change your perspective. You are not going to lose everything. Everything would be if you die. You aren't going to die. In fact, by obsessing over the things you think you are going to lose, you've already lost more important things, like self-respect, confidence, and ability.
If you get those things back, you won't be afraid of losing the things you are worried about losing. Plus, you probably won't lose them.
You need the confidence of knowing you will be OK if you do lose him. That confidence will come across and then you won't lose him. DOn't be afrais he's going to find someone else. If he finds someone else, you wouldn't really want him, would you?
But don't pretend. You need to realize it, in reality. It's not a game. It is truth.
He's got you chasing so hard that you are screaming at him. Stop chasing! That's not a relationship.
The long distance thing comes with a heavy burden. You have basically committed your heart to a man in another city who is out there living life without you. You need to get out there and live life without him. Not cheating, but living life. There's nothing wrong with that. If you weren't dating him yet, what would he see you doing every day that would attract him? Being confident, living life, going out with friends, not being possesive, staying cool. When you come together on the phone, you will come across as that person and he will see the girl he saw before. But it must be real. If you make it real, I mean REALLY real, then it won't matter if you do lose him. But you probably wont. So it's a win-win situation if you can just start living again. |
I second this! Listen to mark; it is a win-win.
In addition to this, I would advice you to be frank with him about your wants. If it were me -and I've done this in one way or another- I would tell him something along the lines of: "If you ever develop feelings for somebody else, please be honest with me and we'll break it off.
You're free to be who you are, and by being with me I understand that its what you truly want. If its not, all I ask of you is to let me know immediately (even if it hurts). As long as you keep me "in the know", I'll know that you respect me and my right to have the relationship I want and deserve. I'll do the same for you. This is the *most* important thing." blah blah blah
I hope you catch my drift.
By letting him know exactly what you expect (respect and honesty), and hearing him agree, there's nothing left to do but trust that he has a speck of decency and love in his heart. And you know he does.
You couldn't love him if he didn't, now could you?