I agree somewhat with jbsmith.
The reason you can't be assertive is the same reason that you feel hurt by the comments aimed at you.
When you can see the hurt inside yourself then you will realise it is not you and can let it go.
When you really see the hurt inside yourself you will not want to create it in another person.
Once you have practiced watching and learning then you will be able to be assertive whenever it is really necessary.
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