From reading your posts, Create, I get the impression that your father really does want the best for you, he's just got an insensitive, demanding way of expressing it, evidently due to a lack of respect. The trust issue definitely seems like a factor, too.
For the first issue, I would suggest that you start to command respect. Don't defer to him on anything. Remember you're an adult now and can take full responsibility for your actions. Make him look at you and treat you like that adult. In other words, when he says something hurtful or disrespectful, don't just internalize it. Immediately confront him about it and let him know exactly what you're thinking at that exact moment. For this to work, though, you have to be confident about what you're saying. Completely accept your feelings, know why it is you're feeling them and that they're completely valid and tell him "Hey, wait a minute. I'm hurt by that/That's not right/etc and here's why..." Don't let him change the topic, shrug your comments off or shove it back in your face. Make him restate his comment, state his assumptions and/or explain further. You may be in for a few good battles this way, but it will get the point across that he needs to treat you as an equal. In time, hopefully those battles will help to reshape your relationship with him in terms of mutual respect and hopefully even friendship.
The trust issue will simply take time to solve, but you can reassure him by communicating that you're taking definite steps to put the bad parts of your life behind you and succeed in the future. Whether it's breaking off contact with the people who led you in that direction, avoiding certain situations or simply attending regular meetings, keep him informed of your path to continued sobriety and of your successes in life, no matter how insignificant. Your continued successes in that regard should help you gain back his trust.
Finally, don't be afraid of conflict, but use it in the right way. Conflict is not necessarily bad where it is used to air out people's differences and come to a solution. In time it will pass and, given that a mutually agreeable solution was reached, you'll both be better, stronger people for it.
Best of luck to you.
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