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Originally Posted by Ninja  Darnit, why (with the exception of my parents and sister) do I only get complimented on my attitude online? All my friends just keep telling me to tone it down (translation: start doubting myself), because there is only a small chance (translation: no way in hell! You're too normal for that, just like the rest of us!) this crazy scheme of mine will work, and I'll fall flat on my face.
Maybe I need better friends... I'm all for being realistic and showing a little humility (rather than sending out a three line summary of my novel and expecting hordes of young, male and ridiculously handsome publishers to fight to the death over who gets to sign me on as their author), but just assuming things won't work out... or not even trying... that is just not the way I roll.  |
Fire your friends.
We're in really similar situations, and I have people in my life who like to do this as well. I fired the worst of the people who exhibit the "out of fear for what might happen to Bruce, let's give him negative reinforcement" pattern. I'm in the progress of firing some more.
Importantly, I'm constantly aligning with relationships that align more with love and less with fear. This is an important thing to do once you've made some space for such relationships.
Also, don't neglect the "make changes in one area of your life and watch other issues you previously had magically disappear or become trivial to solve." I see this occur lots, and while I can't really harness it, it's useful to be aware that it happens, and pretty often and effectively, too.
I call the people you're encountering "detractors." They are inherently skeptical people who are generally pessimistic. This, in my experience, usually comes from a talent (i.e. such as the need for accuracy or order) that is channeled in a fear-based way instead of more consciously and in alignment with truth and love (power isn't really the issue here I don't think, but self-alignment does fall within power, so I guess it can be).
Fire these people from your life, or as Bear "I climbed Everest at age 23 after breaking my back" Grylls would say, "give them a wide birth", meaning that you keep away from them as much as possible (Bear Grylls is also known as Bear "I like arachnids" Grylls.
That's a wink to any Bear fans out there).
I'll also mention that there's a good chance your crazy scheme will fail in some way or another, but you should absolutely still go for it anyway (not hoping it will fail, but doing your best to make it work). You need to fail before you can succeed, and I could go into why that occurs, but you seem intelligent enough to already get that concept.
So yeah, in general, start labeling people "detractor", "skeptic", or "pessimist" and fire them accordingly.
In the rare case that you do find a supporter, consider doing more things around this person. If you have no supporters, seriously consider getting some. I can recommend Toastmasters. Toastmasters is *great* for people who just gush support. They may not be the most conscious growth-aligned people, but they're at least interested in seeing you do well even if you aren't doing well, instead of just telling you that you suck and that you will probably fail.