[belugagirl]

Especially after reading some of the posts in here, I wonder if we modern folk are given unrealistic expectations (by media, I guess--TV, movies, etc . . . ) about what relationships are "supposed" to feel like. And I wonder if that is at least a factor in the unfortunately high divorce rate. We expect to feel a certain excitement that we call "in love" and when we don't, we move on--sometimes, even if we're married.

Since it's nearly impossible to know if my "in love" feels like your "in love," though, it's impossible for anyone to tell you if what you're feeling is what your "supposed" to feel, or whether you are the unwitting victim of these unrealistic expectations.

I can offer you my own experience, though, for what it's worth. I definitely think of myself as "in love" with my husband, but the feelings I have for him now are not what they were most of the time we were dating. There IS less "excitement," I suppose, but more intimacy, trust, comfort, and just plain cuddliness. (There is occasional excitement, too, but it's certainly not as consistent as it was when the relationship was newer.) There was a transition time for me, too, shortly before we were married, when this made me question if he REALLY was the one I was "supposed" to be with. But I was patient, that uncertainty passed, and we grew into our "new" relationship as it evolved, and I can honestly say that I prefer these feelings to that "newly in love" sensation--even as wonderful as that is.

You do have to trust your gut, I suppose, but give your gut time to adjust to an evolving relationship with evolving emotions.