[NeedaNewStart]

I am going to try and make this short I know how tedious long messages can be. Anyway, I have major insecurity and jealousy issues and they are driving my fiance away he tells me he is at the brink and doesnt know if he can continue this way, which in turn makes me more insecure.

I have a hard time trusting him and hate when he hangs out with other girls, problem is most of his friends are girls. Its come to the point where when he doesnt answer his phone I immediately freak out. I kept telling myself that he has never given me a reason not to trust him, which was/is the case. I just read a few of his emails that went back and forth in May to some girl telling her how he was attracted to another woman, and doubting the proposal, etc..

We went to counselling in June and July and things were definitely better for a few months, but now I am right back to where I started even more so after reading those emails yesterday. I keep telling myself they happened in May and he was upset, etc.. It seems that we will be fine for a few months and then be right back to where we started. I keep thinking that he is talking about all the negative characteristics to his friends and eventually they are going to say to leave me. I just wonder why is he with me if theres all this negative.

To add to all the drama we are in a long distance relationship for another year until he graduates. I just cant help feeling like I am going to lose him, which in turn is making him want to leave.