Thanks for the responses!
@ carenkh: thanks for the advice, no offence taken, I have hobbies! I've heard of the book you mention, maybe I should read it. Sounds like fun in spite of the title.
Sometimes things gets stuck in your head and you worry about them. So instead of 'annoying' my husband with this, I thought I’d see what people on this forum had to say.
@ Angela I realize the “Any advice is welcome” sounded a bit desperate. What I actually meant was “any other way of looking at this” is welcome.
I’m not having doubts about my relationship, I just worry sometimes this might be something that could be a problem in the future (might, could, future... I know...)
I’m all for the 100% responsibility-approach although I’m not that good at it, yet.
@ Angela & Jude
What am I being or doing in this relationship that is having him be the way he is?
Well, I guess I’m being “a woman”... When I have a problem with something I address it. I start a conversation about it. And he, being a man and probably caught off guard, doesn’t know what to do with my “needs/grieves/anger” and the flood of words that accompanies them.
A smarter me would not get emotional and talk to him in a calm way and then give him time to think about it and respond or react (or leave it alone if he thinks that’s best).
Only I’m not that smart or patient... and when I’m upset, I want answers, immediatly...
So I guess I should be more patient...