Illuster, welcome to the forums, and I hope you have a wonderful time here!
I started to write a long ol' answer to your posts, but I realized you'd probably feel like I was bludgeoning you and I should probably wait till you get used to me.
Basically it boils down to this: if you want your marriage to be a loving, long-term, mutually beneficial relationship (LLTMBR), filled with joy, power, and abundance, you would be wise to take 100% responsibility and let go of thinking all these issues are your husband's.
What do you think you are being and doing in this relationship that is having him be the way he is being?