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InterfaceLeader · 08-05-2008, 10:56 PM

So, I have just completed an incredibly intense 2 years. I dug myself out of debt, moved homes a couple of times, started being self-employed (web-design business) worked my fiance through a complex immigration system, that was deeply prejudiced towards people with no money, got married, and did all this whilst working 7 days a week, with relatively few days off (about 10, total, in the last year, including Christmas Day etc)

I am happier than I've ever been, because I've worked on myself as well - I HAD to, to get everything else to work. Falling in love meant I had to take responsibility for my life, because the only way we could be together was if I sorted my ♥♥♥♥♥ out and stopped coasting along in despair.

And now we're together. Not in debt (but not rich). I'm still working 7 days a week though, and to be honest, I'm kind of exhausted. Actually, really exhausted. I feel like I'm relapsing to going through the motions, and I also feel like what I REALLY want to do is just sleep for about two weeks.

But I'm utterly terrified of even contemplating that. I work ridiculous hours, clean obsessively, and get angry if I don't accomplish things that I set out to day each day. My to-do list never seems to shrink, no matter how much I cross off! I always feel like I'm one step away from sinking back into that mire of debt, despair, laziness and weakness. I want, desperately, to be that super-awesome person, who's successful and balanced and fair and wise. I push myself to do all these things, and most of the time I feel like I'm spread really thin. And then, at the same time, I think - well, once you let it slide, you'll make it a habit. Because that's what happened before ... I slept in once, and then again and again. Skipped a day of work once... and then again and again.

I have a vision of myself in five years or so, fairly well-off, free to travel and meet people, with enough time to explore and make mistakes and just hang out and enjoy life. I know that, to make that happen, I have to be disciplined now, and not lazy.

But how do I convince myself of this? I don't ever want to be in that negative place again, but my brain and my body keep wanting me to take the easy route and take a break. I'm really really tired of being tired all the time!

08-05-2008, 10:56 PM	#1 (permalink)
InterfaceLeader Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: In a green and bountiful land Posts: 515	Afraid of going back down? So, I have just completed an incredibly intense 2 years. I dug myself out of debt, moved homes a couple of times, started being self-employed (web-design business) worked my fiance through a complex immigration system, that was deeply prejudiced towards people with no money, got married, and did all this whilst working 7 days a week, with relatively few days off (about 10, total, in the last year, including Christmas Day etc) I am happier than I've ever been, because I've worked on myself as well - I HAD to, to get everything else to work. Falling in love meant I had to take responsibility for my life, because the only way we could be together was if I sorted my ♥♥♥♥♥ out and stopped coasting along in despair. And now we're together. Not in debt (but not rich). I'm still working 7 days a week though, and to be honest, I'm kind of exhausted. Actually, really exhausted. I feel like I'm relapsing to going through the motions, and I also feel like what I REALLY want to do is just sleep for about two weeks. But I'm utterly terrified of even contemplating that. I work ridiculous hours, clean obsessively, and get angry if I don't accomplish things that I set out to day each day. My to-do list never seems to shrink, no matter how much I cross off! I always feel like I'm one step away from sinking back into that mire of debt, despair, laziness and weakness. I want, desperately, to be that super-awesome person, who's successful and balanced and fair and wise. I push myself to do all these things, and most of the time I feel like I'm spread really thin. And then, at the same time, I think - well, once you let it slide, you'll make it a habit. Because that's what happened before ... I slept in once, and then again and again. Skipped a day of work once... and then again and again. I have a vision of myself in five years or so, fairly well-off, free to travel and meet people, with enough time to explore and make mistakes and just hang out and enjoy life. I know that, to make that happen, I have to be disciplined now, and not lazy. But how do I convince myself of this? I don't ever want to be in that negative place again, but my brain and my body keep wanting me to take the easy route and take a break. I'm really really tired of being tired all the time!