Quote:
Originally Posted by Angela  I mean, from what you've written here, your expectations in the romantic arena sound grim and retro (trying to get something romantic "back" never works, because romantic feelings don't remain static. That's the great thing about romance.) |
Indeed. I don't want them "back". If the same thing came "back", it would "leave" again in the same way. Nothing "real" is ever the same twice.
Grim and retro? Maybe. I don't believe there is "the one", but I do believe the "right people" are few and far between. I do believe that people can return to past relationships and they can be stronger than they were before. I don't believe in "fighting" to get the past "back". But working for the future? Sure.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angela Maybe you would benefit by examining your beliefs about love for truth. And I mean your deep beliefs, the ones you're not immediately aware that you hold. |
Love for truth? I ruthlessly pursue it, for it is often elusive, changing.
Am I in denial? I'd like to believe that I am in touch with reality. I think that's fairly true, because when I get brought back to reality, grounded, its not that painful. Of course, there are some areas where I like to flatter myself, I'm not above a little narcissism. I've always been very candid.
Since the first post, I realised I was still hanging on to unexpressed thoughts and feelings towards my ex-partner. After a couple of weeks without seeing her, I felt I needed to talk, but she rejected that possibility. Some time (a month?) later we met up, with the proviso of talking about present and future, not past - at her request. Afterwards, and when I posted this, I was frustrated. I realise now it was more with myself, for not expressing those thoughts... I'd been placing her request above my own desire.
I realised, with a little prompting from the world, that if I continue to carry these thoughts around, essentially my answers to her reasons for splitting, then we have a poor foundation for a future friendship. So I wrote her a letter, before going away for the week.
Suffice to say, frustration gone. Feeling much better for taking responsibility for my own healing. Even if it causes her some sadness... I can't *know* that it will or won't... it was certainly causing me some.
Outcome from the action? I feel scarily free... unattached to the outcome... what will be will be. I want her "back", but as a friend or partner, I don't mind. But if she doesn't want me back, that's sad, but OK, because I have so many happy memories I can revisit if I want.