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Originally Posted by Mato Kinze  Control, on the other hand is very enticing. It makes one feel powerful and important. It strengthens the Ego and makes us feel good. This is how I am interpreting this "Manly" thing you seem to talk about.
If I'm missing something, please correct me. |
That's more like what I've been trying to figure out. I saw the manipulation out there, and I wasn't ok with it. I knew there was something wrong with my perspective, but I couldn't describe it because I believed that it was manifested from right action. Now I see that I most likely have been acting out of control.
Then would you say that a job such as the one I work now inhibits my growth? I mean, I am consciously giving people choices, and communicating to them in a way that allows them to act of their own free will. But some people aren't able to think on their own. And a lot of them try to get their way but store policy says we can't give them their money back. In both cases I have to exert varying degrees of control to make everything run smoothly. Am I just massaging my ego? I feel awful.
Most of the time the work atmosphere is a consciousness-lowering one because of all the negativity, not only from customers but my co-workers as well. Most of them wallow in self-pity. My presence is like a light in there. But sometimes to keep the atmosphere positive (more or less) I have to control the situation a certain way. See? If I hesitate, things might not go as smoothly (unless there's another person who can handle the situation better, either male or female). If I let things flow, everything goes smoothly (as peaceful as I can make the situation) but I exert varying degrees of control to maintain it. That's part of the reason I would consciously behave a certain way that allows others to lead. I was sick of control, but I couldn't really describe it.