Quote:
Originally Posted by seeker5  I decided to do the MBA Thursday after thinking long and hard from Erin's reading and from everything I had considered. I journaled, and worked out a lot of my fears and felt finally, for the first time in 3 months, at peace to start an MBA. But then the next day, I started feeling somewhat dead inside. I went and bought a car yesterday as I haven't had a car in over a year. Instead of feeling happy and excited to finally have a car of my own, I felt even more dead within me. |
Stick with your original decision to do the MBA.
That numbness might very well be due to the excessive amount of energy you spent in agonising and trying to reach a decision. It might be purely physical. When I was younger I often found that if I was on an extreme emotional high one day, the next day would see me feel dead inside and totally depleted, like I had no emotion left inside of me, cause my energy WAS depleted.
And your post made me remember something from the Artist's way about creative U-turns. "We usually commit creative hara-kiri either on the eve of or in the wake of a first creative victory.... An artistic U-turn arrives on a sudden wave of indifference..."
You make some break-through decision about your life, you feel relieved and at peace when you reach the decision, but suddenly a day later you feel indifferent not just to that decision but to the whole of life. That's treacherous, I wouldn't trust myself in thinking that this dead feeling is pointing out a valid path to take in my life.