I'm new on this forum, but after reading your message, Little Deb, I wanted to share with you what I feel comes out of what you're writing.
I think that you're trying very hard to get some help from the outside, whereas it is from guides or friends. Of course, no man's an island, but don't you think you put too much hope on them instead of on you?
It feels like you wish things to be different (better), and don't have an intent to actually make things better for yourself. That happened to me quite a lot, so I know how it feels, but in the end, your own wellbeing is your responsibility.
I suspect the "discouragement" you feel for other people is actually the one you feel for yourself, do you value yourself as worthy enough?
I hope I'm not getting too much out of my way writing this, but somehow, I felt compelled to give my 2 cents.
best of luck (and courage, you'll need some, we all do I guess)