A friend of mine killed himself a few months ago. The range of reactions in the many people we mutually knew was so varied that I can't say there is one way to go about helping someone through a time like this. For me, just knowing that someone cared -- having them reach out and give a hug, listen to me talk, sit with me when I couldn't talk -- helped. I'd not try to say anything profound, it usually just ends up sounding trite at a time like this. Just be open to your friend and take cues from her on what she might need. If you watch and listen closely (turning off that part of your mind that is worried about finding just the right thing to say or do) you will probably get hints about what she needs right now. And if she's fretting about her role in this, you can definitely reassure her that it's not her fault. Actually, my friend's mom wrote a letter to everyone that was handed out at his funeral about how no one is to blame. I can send it to you if you'd like and you could share it with her?
I'm sending her some love right now.
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I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies. This is the dawning of the rest of our lives. --Green Day
The more I see, the less I know, the more I'd like to let it go. --Red Hot Chili Peppers |