usually to thier tastes but not usually mine...the pressure would be on from my folks side to approve
So the question remains, what do you choose to believe is a healthy boundary between your own preferences for your own life, and your parents' expectations for your life? And what basis do you use to evaluate the healthiness of a boundary?
Until you answer this question for yourself, it's impossible for anyone else to tell you what to do. If other people tell you to be more independent than you choose to believe in, the advice is wasted. If other people tell you to be more attentive to what your parents want, and you choose to believe in your independence, that advice is also wasted.
You have to answer this question for yourself. It's because you have not answered it that you feel the tension between serving yourself and serving your parents. Other people can give opinions about that balance, but only you can decided what you believe about that balance.
You need to clarify your own values, instead of letting that conflict shake you up inside all the time. Whatever you choose about sex and marriage, the conflict will STILL be present and will keep coming up in your life until you finally make your choice.