Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - A cycle that I fall into that's hard to get out of --- please help me with this one

sarahsarahsarah11 · 07-31-2008, 06:23 PM

Hey everyone,

So I have this tendency to fall into a certain cycle. So for awhile, I'll be doing well, having great friends, feeling like my life's getting on track, and just feeling more and more fulfilled. Then all of a sudden, I'll do something that's a little mushy like write a letter to someone thanking them for something or just being really direct and straightforward with someone who is not so straightforward, and then they don't respond or respond in a very negative way.

So then when they don't respond or respond in a negative way, I start doubting myself, start getting angry, start thinking "This person is loved by so many people and yet they act horribly with me."

I think this stems from a belief that if someone is good and loved by everyone and they just don't like me, that means I'm worthless and I'm downer in people's lives and I hurt people. I feel like just by being me I'm a downer for people and I put negativity into people's lives.

It seems like when people come across people they don't like they just brush them off and keep their confidence. I don't like to brush people off and pass judgements on people - even though that would be so much easier, just to say, "Well, forget her, she's full of herself and I just don't care to talk to her." and go about my way. I feel like that's living in an illusion... and also I don't want it to come back to me later and topple me from that illusion. I've had that happen to me before and it's a horrible feeling, like you've been living a lie.

Any advice folks?

07-31-2008, 06:23 PM	#1 (permalink)
sarahsarahsarah11 Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 37	A cycle that I fall into that's hard to get out of --- please help me with this one Hey everyone, So I have this tendency to fall into a certain cycle. So for awhile, I'll be doing well, having great friends, feeling like my life's getting on track, and just feeling more and more fulfilled. Then all of a sudden, I'll do something that's a little mushy like write a letter to someone thanking them for something or just being really direct and straightforward with someone who is not so straightforward, and then they don't respond or respond in a very negative way. So then when they don't respond or respond in a negative way, I start doubting myself, start getting angry, start thinking "This person is loved by so many people and yet they act horribly with me." I think this stems from a belief that if someone is good and loved by everyone and they just don't like me, that means I'm worthless and I'm downer in people's lives and I hurt people. I feel like just by being me I'm a downer for people and I put negativity into people's lives. It seems like when people come across people they don't like they just brush them off and keep their confidence. I don't like to brush people off and pass judgements on people - even though that would be so much easier, just to say, "Well, forget her, she's full of herself and I just don't care to talk to her." and go about my way. I feel like that's living in an illusion... and also I don't want it to come back to me later and topple me from that illusion. I've had that happen to me before and it's a horrible feeling, like you've been living a lie. Any advice folks?