Join Date: Mar 2008
| | LOA and now
I would agree that believing the woman who will be your wife does exist and that she is also looking for you is crucial to being able to see her, even if she is right in front of you.
You say a lot about why you were rejected by women but not as much about the kind of person you are looking for. Your doubts about what woman you are looking for and whether you want her to be within your religion and acceptable to your family, as the other poster said, may be canceling out your LOA work.
If you want just any old woman out there, you will get what you want. The universe will bring you what you ask for, not with your mouth but from within what's in your heart. What a waste and how painful, if some woman accepts you in this confusion and you then decide religion and family is more important than you first thought.
It's best to decide now if her religion important to you. If it is, maybe you should only be looking in your church or place of worship, as well as allowing your parents to be involved. If you decide religion is not especially important to the family you want to build, tell your parents to continue but that you are also looking elsewhere. But going out, asking for dates, with this unsettled in your mind and knowing if you do meet someone, this might hurt your parents may be attracting these rejections.
And if you feel you are not the ideal physique, are you as accepting of women that also may not be the ideal or norm? That internal confusion of not liking yourself or those like you, is bad for attracting what you don't want also.
On the question of your virginity, you are doing great so far. But there seems to be an underlying motivation for wanting sex from hopelessness in your posts. This may be coming from your despair at not knowing who God will bring to you or if He ever will bring anyone. Please go here with me for a moment. If your bride-to-be is in a similar quandary right now, at this moment, wondering whether to just do it with anyone since you will never come, what would you tell her.....to trust God and wait for you or have fun now with the closest warm body?
If you do give in to lust and get that experience, what will you tell your bride? How will you feel if you meet her just a month after your string of affairs; will you start out your marriage in a lie?
I have had sex outside of marriage but I am not sexually involved now for spiritual reasons. I know having sex can feel good and normal. But it can also make you feel dirty and stupid and with the wrong person, sometimes sick in the pit of your stomach. Your buddies won't tell you about these times. I don't know your religion, but there is often an enemy that seeks to hurt us and tempt us out of trusting God.
Something just came to me as a way to focus your intentions on your future wife. Try writing some love letters to your bride now, letters you fully intend to give her later, after you are married, letters about your search for her and of all the things you hope to share with her one day. If you want to take it a step further, buy her gifts now and keep them until you meet her or for your wedding night. Take time to envision and to feel the love now and let that love for her, your wife, keep you until you are together, just as it will keep you after your marriage when you are not physically together.
You may not actually have to do what I suggested. But in examining the emotions that came up at the thought of doing this, you will see what is truly in your heart from a law of attraction standpoint. Do you really believe, in faith, that this IS going to happen, that you two will one day soon stand face to face and say the vows of marriage in front of both your families?
LOA is a state of just asking for our preferences because we trust that God is good and working things for our good...asking, believing, allowing and trusting in detachment. From my experience, in LOA, attracting what we want is all in the allowing and the detachment.
To detach, release the outcome to God and accept, that although you want to get married, if you never get married, that's okay, too. It might also help to detach from the sexual questions since it's related. No matter your age, there is no valid pressure to have sex. You know that you can have sex eventually if you want, when you want, tomorrow if you have the money. But you prefer and are asking and expecting for it to happen naturally with someone you love within a committed relationship.
And you can allow what you ask to come without getting too focused on the search or on the right method of finding a wife. Becoming entangled in finding the right method can create a state of constant searching, disappointment, more searching, etc.
When you trust that what you have asked is indeed coming to you, as surely as rain falls from the sky or an apple falls from a tree, choosing the right method becomes irrelevant. Trust in God, that He heard and is answering, is trusting that she is on a path toward you also and you two are coming together in a beautiful way that only God knows. Every day, you know this might be the day, and if not, you are still one day closer and one day better at being the man you want to be when your paths do come together.
Trust me when I say that marriage to the wrong person for the wrong reasons will bring you right back to where you are now so don't rush it and try to enjoy this time of singleness and freedom. God is not cruel or denying you any good thing and this time too has meaning and a purpose for your good.