Rabbit, I have only had time to skim your posts but my first thought is that you are far too young for this kind of relationship drama! At ages 16-23, emotions and romantic feelings are all over the map and romantic relationships are all about learning. If I condemned myself for everything I did "wrong" at that time in my life I'd be in a padded cell by now. You should not be holding yourself in such contempt over this. I agree with others that you should relax and allow yourself to develop. You have already made impressive investments in your own growth (e.g. seeing a counselor, taking time out for self-discovery) so why not continue that if you are not already? My advice is to focus on this process and on developing yourself. Go out and date women, a lot of them if you want to, but keep it light, without becoming attached. Explore and grow. My feeling is that you should let go of Jane, because that attachment to her is clearly not based in love. Instead, use this precious time in your life to grow and learn.
All my best to you,
Amber
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