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Originally Posted by carenkh  Hi, Honey! It doesn't HAVE to be a battle! If you, from a centered place of knowing it would help your kids, filed child support papers on him, and let the results of that action go: no battle! There can't be a battle with only one combatant, in other words. If he goes underground, so be it. (most of the time, the men I've known who threaten that are all talk) |
I certainly don't want it to be a battle, but judging from past situations, it will not be easy.
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Originally Posted by carenkh Everyone may very well feel some kind of hurt. This is life, real life. People get hurt. If you're alive, you will be hurt. Your actions WILL hurt others, even when those actions in total alignment. |
This is a truth that I have a hard time with. I don't
want anyone to hurt so I usually but my own feelings last to avoid the possibility.
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Originally Posted by carenkh Can you sit, and ask yourself, what is best for your kids? They need to be the focus, here. What is best for them? |
Well, here is where it gets sticky.
I truly, truly do want what's best for the kids and I know that their Dad loves them and wishes to do the best for them. The sticky part is figuring out if him spending time with them is beneficial to them, or not. There are little things that I brush off as not such a big deal. When they leave me on Saturday afternoon, they leave in the clothes I've dressed them in. When they come back Sunday afternoon, they are in the same clothes. They have played, slept, and played some more, in the same clothes. They come home dirty. They
never brush their teeth or wash up. But in the scope of things, that is inconsequential because it's only for a day once a week.
The parts that I can not brush off so easily are where he tells the younger boys what f***ing a**holes their older brothers are (the older boys won't go on visits anymore. Or when he belittles of his girlfriend in front of them. These are the subtle things that you can't bring to a court and demand that he stops doing.
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Originally Posted by carenkh I have more to say, but must work.
I love you! You are, and will be, just fine! |
I would really love to hear what else you have to say as I know our parenting situations are somewhat the same. And thanks! I love you too!