Originally Posted by coLLege kid07
You are most likely out of alignment.
Actually, College kid, you are more correct than you may know. In my original post I mentioned that having to give up on some of the things I love in order to work more is what was bothering me. Going to those Yoga classes is so fulfilling to me because it's a time where it's just me and my mat. I don't have anyone else to think or worry about and it's a chance to get out of my head and focus on my body. I've developed this community there as well of people that I see week after week, and some I chat with, some it's just nice to smile at and know that we are all together again.
My ex husband gave up all responsibility (financially) for himself and his children so that he could focus expressly on his own freedom and fun and that makes me really ANGRY. We had those children together and I don't get why he feels like he can put all the burden on me for his own satisfaction.
Here's the real kicker though, the secret behind it all. I've
let myself down. I'm
the one that I should be angry at because my stinginess at my own self has let me just assume all responsibility and allowed him to be unaccountable.
And until I really come to terms with my own value, until I finally stop worrying about whether people will be mad at me for reporting him, until I stop worrying about whether or not I am hurting his feelings, I will be trapped in my own sticky web.
About four years ago I met a woman who was a psychic and she told me then that my ex husband "wasn't even his own true self anymore" She also said that he was going to "test me" for the rest of my life.
Until I learn enough to pass the test, that is. And thanks to all the advice/comments/ and support, I am
Love you guys . . .