Fear...that's a biggie.
See, I have a really bad habit of getting comfortable and complacent. I'm better when I'm under pressure, like now. This is why my blog is taking off. I feel like, if I work a 40 hr week, I'm going to have nothing left for the other things that I actually want to do. I put a lot into a job when I have one, and it doesn't leave much extra. I feel like it would kill any focus that I have going right now.
What I was thinking of doing was getting a bartending or waitressing job. I'm very nocturnal, so I think that it would be a good fit. Plus, I can work on stuff during the daytime, and maybe only have to work 3 or 4 days a week.
Also, I've done this so often in my life. I've been so responsible, did the "good thing" by getting an office manager job once, and just told myself, "Oh, yeah, it's just temporary." I've been temporarying it since about 1998. I'm 28 now. Do I really want to wait till I'm 40 or 50 to decide that I want to pursue my dreams full-on? Is it
ever a good, safe time? How do you handle that?
I wrote this on another forum I post on, and thought I'd share it with you guys:
Quote:
Well, I'm feeling way more optimistic now, at least. My roommate came clean with a lot of the anger that he has against his mother. Thank goodness.
I've figured out that my best friend really is very, very negative, and was a huge part of kinda egging me on, or making me depressed about things. She was suggesting the webcam stuff, or getting a sugar daddy. She's now suggesting that I go work at Home Despot or something like it. I, on the other hand, would rather get a job bartending or waitressing in NYC, which will pay a lot more money for less work, plus be lots of fun.
She hasn't said as much, but I can tell that she wants me to stay in safe ol' Bergen County, away from 24 hour transportation. I had to vehemently remind her today that I'm looking to move right near the city, into Hudson County. See seems to conveniently forget that fact. She really does see me working a dead-end, soul-killing job, and living in a small, isolated apartment where I can't go anyplace unless she's driving me. My other friends are standing behind me making me dream of a website come true. They support me wanting to do things like publish ebooks, do online tarot readings, run an Ebay store, actually be able to concentrate on designing and making clothing...the list goes on and on.
I have so many skills; there is no reason why my hands and brain can't make me at least $1000 a month to live on. A part time nightlife job would really help, and I can get that. It's just hard when the people closest to you say that they don't see me being able to get an apartment as a freelancer, or that my sending resumes to do constructive jobs in my skill set is a waste of time.
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