I don't think everybody thinks of it this way, but I think being "in love" (in the romantic sense, not in the "being in love with your own life" sense) is the stressful, yearning, infatuated feeling where I want to throw myself completely to the person and at the same time it's ultra-mega-important to *get* something from him, too. The Chicken Opera kind of love -- you know, the kind that keeps people in abusive relationships ("But I looooovve him!"), makes it impossible for you to hear certain songs after you break up without sweet agony, makes it really easy -- even mandatory -- to ignore or discount your intuition, and has people saying things like, "I love her so much it
hurts!" In my experience, "in love" lives in my heart and stomach mostly.
Interestingly, I'm in the most profoundly loving, interesting, growth-oriented, solid, sensuous, open, honest, endearing, fun, free, connected, joyful, safe, and sexy relationship I've ever been in -- my very favorite romantic relationship of all time -- and I wouldn't say I'm "in love" with Danger Man. Danger Man love lives more evenly spread out throughout my body, mind and spirit. There's nothing I need to *get* from him, and yet I've never been more satisfied and fulfilled. There's none of the stressful yearning, or suffering when we're separated, or sick-at-the-stomach feeling. If we were to ever part (I hope we stay together for a long, long time), I am quite sure that I would feel gratitude and love towards him for being who he is and making that available in our relationship. I love him from my bottom to my heart, and I wouldn't trade what we've got for all the "in love" in the world. Oy, I've had enough of that!
