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Originally Posted by Dannyboy1  You can't depend on anyone to change your behavior but yourself. |
I definitely am not depending on anyone to change my behavior. I have been working very intently on monitoring my thoughts and although it can be quite exhausting sometimes, I have noticed a difference. I do however, fall off the wagon sometimes and revert to my old "never mind me" attitude. I have found that having the people that I am hurting when I do this, come right out and tell me that I am hurting them, is extremely helpful to me because I value these people so, so much!
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Originally Posted by Dannyboy1 I felt like a new man! I was happier all the time! Hope this helps.  |
I'm glad that you were able figure that one out and make yourself (and your fellow subway riders!), so happy, and THANKS for the advice and support!
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Originally Posted by JimOfferman Hi Honey!
Being generous goes both ways, you know  |
Hi Jim!
So glad to get your reply!
You are so right about that, that comment was such an eye opener for me. All the times he offers, all the times I won't accept. I was just being pure stinginess by not allowing him to be generous back to me !
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Originally Posted by JimOfferman
How would you live if your ex disappeared completely from your life? What adjustments would you make to your life to compensate?
Here's a thought: start living your life like you would if your ex was out of the picture (at least financially). Stop focusing on a broken past and start building a brighter future. Work on being entirely independent from him. I'm sure you can do it - you're the strong and resilient one!
Good luck and lots of love,
Jim.
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Thats a really good idea for me to think about. It's part of my comparison issue too I think. I'm comparing how great my boyfriend is as a Dad and wondering why I'm not worthy of having such a Dad for my kids.
Thanks for the good advice Jim and lots of love back!
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Originally Posted by SunnKali I don't know the laws in your state, but I don't understand why you'd have to get a lawyer involved to go after child support. |
I don't have to get a lawyer, I also want to change the visitation order. He hasn't visited with my oldest son in almost two years now and just recently told me second oldest that he doesn't want him in his home anymore either. I want it written down that he doesn't have any visitation rights with them anymore so that he can't try to pull some kind of weird maneuver to make them visit against their will.
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Originally Posted by SunnKali Sorry your ex is like this -- but it seems you have a gem now in your current boyfriend.
Best of luck to you in navigating through all this and creating a life of abundance and joy. |
You are absolutely right about that! And thanks so much for the good luck!
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Originally Posted by mncz Allow me to suggest you something that I found amazing when trying to improve my inner self-image and let go of negative thoughts.
Straighten your back. And smile. All the time. And I mean it physically. Going to the shop. Doing laundry. Cleaning floors. Driving. Talking. Working. Even if it feels forced onto you like a mask at first, you will be amazed how it changes your perception and mood. Because when you do that, there arises disharmony in your brain between your mental state and your physical state, and since you are keeping your physical state with the power of your will, your mind will be forced to change accordingly and start giving you thoughts of joy. With time you will find this natural and perfectly according to your inner state. |
I like this idea! I tried it on my lunch break walk and felt very happy and loving. Thanks for the suggestion!
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Originally Posted by mncz Too often we forget that we are beings of light and that all the wisdom of the world is available to us, right where we are. |
Nicely put, thanks for the support!