Originally Posted by Honeywith4bees
No, it is not the truth. My boyfriend offers all the time to give me money or otherwise take care of us. But he shouldn't have to!
And yet he does! What keeps you from accepting his generosity? Being generous goes both ways, you know
My ex should not get to give up on his share of the financial obligations and still get the benefits of being a Daddy!!
No, he should not.
But you cannot tie all of your well being to his being able to meet those obligations or not. By your own admission, the chances of him doing so are slight, even when you get the DOR involved (which, IMHO, you should have done ages ago). Yes, you deserve to have an ex that does all he needs to do to help you take care of your kids - but that's not who you got. There's no changing that. It is time to cut your losses and move on!
How would you live if your ex disappeared completely from your life? What adjustments would you make to your life to compensate?
Here's a thought: start living your life like you would if your ex was out of the picture (at least financially). Stop focusing on a broken past and start building a brighter future. Work on being entirely independent from him
. I'm sure you can do it - you're the strong and resilient one!
Then, if the DOR somehow manages to achieve the impossible, accept that child support as a welcome extra...
Good luck and lots of love,