Yeah, how can you win if you don't even know what the rules are? What would winning have looked like in the situation with that woman, or in any other circumstance of your life for that matter? It's like if I were playing beach volleyball and I declare that we will just keep playing until everyone feels the game is over and someone has won. Well, we'll end up playing until we're exhausted and then we'll collapse, frustrated, unsatisfied, unfulfilled.
Sounds like that's kind of where you are.
The impact of pretending like you can win, of trying to avoid people seeing that you can't -- it leaves you exhausted, doesn't it? and unsatisfied and unfulfilled; frustrated and alone. What about the impact on others? You might not see this, but your resignation about "I can't win" is something that that girl is picking up on, at least subconsciously and maybe even consciously. Other people, too. You're really sad, right? That's also the impact you have on others. Be with these impacts, The Cloud; experience them fully.
What new possibility arises for you? What possibility did you commit to practice the other day? What did you you commit to practice letting go of? Was that just a commitment to do that when it was easy, when your gremlin is taking the day off? Or are you willing to look your gremlin in the eye now and send him packing?
Who are you? Who are you willing to be, right now?
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