Haha, I know exactly what you're talking about. You want something badly, but as soon as you go about trying to get it you stop really caring. Instead of being based in true desire, it was just based in an elusory and illusionary need. So it becomes hard to trust what you want, because you don't know if it's really what you want or if it's just a compulsive desire.
As far as I know, the only way to deal with this is to get at the root of the compulsion. You have a deep-seated insecurity, and that insecurity is what is spawning the evanescent need. What insecurity do you think your need is trying to satisfy?
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We must conquer ourselves, and allow our selves to conquer the world.
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