Quote:
Originally Posted by Swannie  Hi Garentee,
I am reading everything you are writing. The nature of internet forums means you get misunderstood. Even with the people who know me best, we often end up miss-communicating on I.M.
I hear what you are saying about seeing you shrink. It sounds like they have equipped you with some valuable tools. I'm glad you don't think your "salvation" lies in another person.
It's just the way you presented your thoughts, it did suggest that to me. Here's the facts I read... You have issues you are dealing with. You have found two recent relationships with women have helped dealing with it, hugely so. These relationships cannot work. You have a strong desire to find another woman to deal with more issues with. To have intimacy with. You find yourself sabotaging these relationships and want to stop doing that.
So, I read, you feel need these relationships to move forwards, dependency. You want another one... but you don't want to screw it up this time.
I see a cycle. I'm suggesting that maybe you break the cycle for a while.
Stop looking for that high quality relationship to help with your self-mastery. Develop it with yourself, with friends male and female. I know you are on the path to doing the first one, great, it seems lots of people neglect that. Opening your issues on here is a great step towards having some high quality friendships - it's easier to write many things on the internet than say the same to the face of a friend. |
thanks for your words. The cycle is the thing I am trying to break.. for sure. I see it however as a cycle of women who are emotionally unavailable and and will leave me.We all follow patterns in our lives consciously and unconsciously. My pattern tends to be that I also go for women in pain because I feel like I can heal them. And most recently with the two women mentioned in this thread we have had some really high quality healing conversations. We all have shared very very painful stories and it feels so good to cry over those. I guess I want to have a relationship when I am ready.. and I am feeling more and more ready all the time... But since I started really learning patience I know that I will be in a good healthy relationship when I am healthy enough on my own. I should say that just because neither of these women are in a situation where we can be together, does not mean that the friendship is not steadily growing. I am working on all my relationships and have been sharing with many people... and will continue to do that on and off this forum which is one of the best tools I have come across in a long time. Thanks again Swannie.