Seeker, do you think it's possible that in addition to "Je suis con", in that incident with being laughed at for having loving feelings toward that little girl, perhaps you made up your mind about love? Do you think maybe you decided that "Love is embarassing" or shameful, or something else like that that leaves you protecting yourself from being laughed at again? Since it's just that initial part that's hard for you, like with the little girl, and you are okay with loving feelings one you are esconced in a relationship -- maybe there is something there.
Just a thought. |