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Originally Posted by garentee  I get the distinct impression that either I am not making my self all that clear, or people are taking liberties with my statements. Yes I Have a fear of intimacy. No I do not think that the salvation of this fear lies in another person. Yes I do want a deep intimate relationship. Yes I have initiated somewhat with a couple of people. Yes I understand that there may be a need for counseling. No I do not think that I need it at this time. I am responsible for my actions thoughts feelings and desires and do not and will not depend on another for my happiness. I feel as though some on this thread have missed my points and or not really read through what I have written. I know that I do need to clarify my points and I am trying to do that here.... I think mayb3e one of my fears is to appear vulnerable. I have a hard time crying in front of others.. although that barrier seems to be one of several that has disappeared this week. It is hard to tell others about my feelings but when I am comfortable I can do it. I feel kind of misunderstood in this thread. |
Hi Garentee,
I am reading everything you are writing. The nature of internet forums means you get misunderstood. Even with the people who know me best, we often end up miss-communicating on I.M.
I hear what you are saying about seeing you shrink. It sounds like they have equipped you with some valuable tools. I'm glad you don't think your "salvation" lies in another person.
It's just the way you presented your thoughts, it did suggest that to me. Here's the facts I read... You have issues you are dealing with. You have found two recent relationships with women have helped dealing with it, hugely so. These relationships cannot work. You have a strong desire to find another woman to deal with more issues with. To have intimacy with. You find yourself sabotaging these relationships and want to stop doing that.
So, I read, you feel need these relationships to move forwards, dependency. You want another one... but you don't want to screw it up this time.
I see a cycle. I'm suggesting that maybe you break the cycle for a while.
Stop looking for that high quality relationship to help with your self-mastery. Develop it with yourself, with friends male and female. I know you are on the path to doing the first one, great, it seems lots of people neglect that. Opening your issues on here is a great step towards having some high quality friendships - it's easier to write many things on the internet than say the same to the face of a friend.